My Cooking Abilities

Ok, I tried my cooking abilities tonight. We shall see if I kill anyone. I made cheesecake bars as Christmas presents to the teachers I work with. They don't look right to me, but I am no cheesecake expert. I hope they turn out alright, if not, I will know never to make snacks for Christmas presents ever again. Let's hope my cooking abilities are worthwhile for another day.

A Reminder

In high school, were you the one that got left out and didn't fit in with the other kids? Well, I definitely was! I didn't like high school at all. It all came down to money and popularity. I couldn't afford the newest, coolest clothes so I wasn't accepted by the majority. I can remember being so proud because my mom said I could get one pair of jeans from Brass Buckle. I thought, "Woo Hoo, I can be cool for once!" When I got to school, I was informed that a few other girls already had a pair of jeans just like those. So I was behind with the current trend again! I couldn't win for nothing. So after I graduated from high school, I swore that I could care less whether or not I saw my classmates ever again. I didn't go to my ten year class reunion, and I really considered going to the next class reunion. I am pretty sure that is a big no no now because I was reminded how superficial and mean my classmates can be. I figured I would extend the friendly branch to a few of my classmates. I tried to add a few to Myspace. One of my classmates accepted my invitation and I thought maybe I was making progress. Then, yesterday I found out she deleted me as a friend. Once again, that dagger was stabbed right in my back. I am back to my first philosophy, and that is I am me and I am not going to change for anyone! If that means, I never see my classmates again, so be it!

Happy Holidays!

Christmas is nearly here, and I will be honest and I don't know if I am ready for it. I have had a hard time this year getting in the Christmas spirit. I am trying really hard to be positive but have felt myself sliding backwards. That needs to change! I did watch my favorite Christmas movie, How the Grinch Stole Christmas with Jim Carrey. For some reason, every time I watch that movie it helps me get motivated for Christmas. It is pretty scary that a ugly, green creature gets me motivated. But he does! I have found out the my mom's dog, Ciera, does not like the Grinch. She barked, growled, and lunged at the television every time she saw him on the TV. It was funny, never thought dogs actually watched television. So if anyone reads this blog, Happy Holidays to you and your family. Here is to a better 2008!

Reality Strikes.....In a Positive Way

Yesterday reality struck in a positive way. I always am doubting myself and really not giving myself enough credit. Thursday is game days for our junior high. The school I am working for was playing the school I graduated from. It probably sounds sadistic, but I have no problem with my high school team getting their rear end kicked. Our junior high coach asked me about the other team. I told him that we should have no problem beating Ingalls. He told his assistant coach that, and the assistant coach said, "Then, we have nothing to worry about, because Lisa White is one of the most honest people there ever was!" I was shocked when he told me that. Maybe I need to believe in myself more and realize people do know my real character. Needless, to say, I was right. Our junior high beat my old team 50 to 0.

Have a Nice Day!

I have that song by Bon Jovi in my head! Cody, one of my students, started singing that tune yesterday during Science class. It has stuck in my head since then.

Why, you wanna tell me how to live my life?
Who, are you to tell me if it's black or white?
Mama, can you hear me? Try to understand.
Is innocence the difference between a boy and a man.
My daddy lived the lie, it's just the price that he paid.
Sacrificed his life, just slavin' away.

Ohhh, if there's one thing I hang onto,
That gets me through the night.
I ain't gonna do what I don't want to,
I'm gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge, I show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my face,
I say, Have A Nice Day.
Have A Nice Day

Take a look around you; nothing's what it seems
We're living in the broken home of hopes and dreams,
Let me be the first to shake a helping hand.
Anybody brave enough to take a stand,
I've knocked on every door, on every dead end street,
Looking for forgiveness,
what's left to believe?

Ohhh, if there's one thing I hang onto,
That gets me through the night.
I ain't gonna do what I don't want to,
I'm gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge, I show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my face,
I say, Have A Nice Day.
Have A Nice Day.

[Guitar Solo]

Ohhh, if there's one thing I hang onto,
That gets me through the night.
I ain't gonna do what I don't want to,
I'm gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge, I show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my face,
I say, Have A Nice Day.
Have A Nice Day.
Have A Nice Day.
Have A Nice Day.
Have A Nice Day.

When The world keeps trying, to drag me down,
I've gotta raise my hands, gonna stand my ground.
Well I say, Have A Nice Day.
Have A Nice Day
Have A Nice Day

My Fears...

My fears are:
1. not losing weight
2. not finding love
3. not having kids
4. being broke all my life
5. being full of anger

It is Time for a Clutter Free Environment!

I have decided it is time to have a clutter free environment in my house. I have cleaned a lot today, and even threw stuff away. Yes, you heard it, I threw stuff away. I don't consider myself to be a clutter bug considering I have others in my family that thrive on clutter. I have realized I do have some stuff that I don't need anymore or stuff that is out of date. Almost everything that is worthless or useless is going in the trash. I have threw away old t-shirts, old watches, cell phone holders that I never use, and beauty supplies that I don't use. It feels good to have less clutter in the house.

What is Sleep?

I am starting to wonder about this. Lately, I have not been able to sleep good for many days at a time. Last night I don't think I ever really drifted off into sleep. The night before I went to sleep but woke up at one in the morning. I am trying to be more healthy. I have been exercising and watching what I am eating. The real downer is when you are exhausted from not sleeping it is hard to feel good about yourself. I need to feel good about myself. It helps me manage at work and do my daily activities with a positive attitude. Like right now, I can feel myself going between being sleepy to getting grouchy. I sure hope I can make it through the day. If anyone has anyone hints or ideas, please let me know. I would really appreciate them. Ok, I am off to another day with no sleep.

My List of Accomplishments

This Labor Day weekend was somewhat productive. I got all my dishes done, and I got caught up with my laundry. And I even folded and put my clothes up. Wooo Hoooo!!!

Missing In Action!

Well, I promise I haven't been hiding on purpose. Life has just been hectic at this moment. I have been working, and things at work haven't been the best. Right now it is just the boss and me working. My co-worker quit and left us short handed. The worst part about that is some of the teachers are not very understanding. We are getting chewed out on a daily basis by one teacher in particular. I am sure hoping we can find someone soon. I know we are getting a part time para after Labor Day. I am sure hoping that will help us out some. Then, I have been working really hard on keeping busy at home. The highlights of my life are at this moment.
1. a really cute teacher
2. losing weight slowly
3. starting to talk to a certain guy
4. football season is about ready to start
5. my house is finally starting to look clean
6. I am starting to get my scrapbook going again.

Almost Time

I think it is time for a change. I don't know what it is going to be yet, but I will write about it when it comes time. Maybe it will be a change in my looks. Or it could be a change in my private life concerning a relationship. I have an enormous feeling deep down inside me that something is going to change in my life, and I pray it is for the best.

Lost

Lost

That is a powerful word! Lately that is how I feel. I am lost in this world not knowing where to go or how to live. I am lost to having no power over having no money until September. I am lost when it concerns my mom. She really doesn't understand me. My friend that lost her husband in a car wreck in April is lost. I have lost her because she has isolated herself from everyone in her life. I don't know how to get her back, and I don't know if I have the energy or desire to even try. So what is wrong with me? I need to get enrolled in an Algebra class, but at this point ask me if I care. It probably wouldn't be a good answer. I need to find my way out, and start living my life.

Boredom

Why am I so bored all the time? I try to find things to keep me occupied. I have tried doing scrapbooking, reading, walking, and many other things to keep myself busy. I get tired of doing these activities fairly quickly. Then I am back to not knowing what to do. What is wrong with me? Why am I not content with anything in my life? It seems like I am dealing with these issues on a daily basis. There must be something wrong with me.

The Countdown is down to Zero!

I am done. Thank goodness that I am done. Let the party begin.

One More...

Ok, it is almost here. I am down to one more day at my summer job. I can hear the party music now and taste the margaritas. I can't wait until two thirty tomorrow afternoon. Wooo Hooo!!!

Two...

Ok, I am down to two days.... Almost party time!

Survey About Me

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
No
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
For the most part
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Honey Ham
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
No
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I think so
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT?
Ummm…..YES
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
No
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
NO and NO
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Cinnamon Life
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Not usually
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Most of the time
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
French vanilla
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Eyes
15. RED OR PINK?
Red
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Weight
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
Dad and Grandpa
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND TH IS BACK TO YOU?
Well yeah!
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Spongebob boxers with no shoes
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Hamburger gravy over toast
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
TV
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Something red
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Peach, cherry vanilla
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Mom
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes, she’s a keeper
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
NASCAR, football, basketball and volleyball
27. HAIR COLOR?
Dark blonde
28. EYE COLOR?
Blue
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Curly fries with nacho cheese
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Shrek 3
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Light blue tank top
24. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Neither
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Both
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Peanut butter pie
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
No tellin
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND
Don’t know
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Two Little Girls in Blue
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
clouds
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Cold Case
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
Rain
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Stones
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Seattle, Washington
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Ability to listen
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Garden City, Kansas
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Don’t know

Three More Days!!!

I am so excited. I am down to three more days left until my summer job is over. Wooo hoooo!!!

Girls Night Out

Yesterday I finally got my wish for the summer. Two of my friends and I went out to a local club called the Grain Bin. We got ready and left about nine thirty. First, Leyla decided we needed to drive by my crush's house. She told me to stop by his house, which was a total surprise. She actually went up to the front door and knocked. She was going to ask him if he wanted to go to the Grain Bin with us. Also, she took a piece of paper with her. She said it was for if he was there she was going to give him my phone number so he could get in contact with me. I am still scared knowing she might have left it on his door or something. This was a total surprise because I didn't think she would actually do it. She did! Then we went and got some gas and headed towards town. We were one of the first ones there, but it filled up pretty fast after we showed up. I saw a lot of people I knew from where I graduated from high school. I had two drinks. I had a rum and Coke and a Screwdriver. It was a relaxing time, and I had fun just getting away from the house and watching all the other people interact. Most of the night I had a guy behind me. He was a hottie so I didn't mind that. Now, I need to get brave and score with the guy I want to score with. Let the games begin!

How I Raise My Vibes

After reading Melissa's, a friend of mine, blog, I thought I would post some of my ways of raising of my vibes to make me feel better.

1. Watch sports such as NASCAR. It helps me fanatize on something that I have always wanted to do.
2. Read mystery books. My favorite books to read are by Mary Higgins Clark and Janet Evanocich.
3. Take a nice long bubble bath.
4. Take a walk with my dog.
5. Take a nap.

The Countdown is On!!!

Ten more days until my summer job is over! I don't think I could be more happy. Ok, maybe I could be, but that would require a hot, steamy night with a hot football coach. And that hasn't happened yet, so I will cling to my happiness being dependent on ten more days of cooking and then no more. Wooo Hoooo!!!

Butter Cups

Towards the end of the golf course, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups.
Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden.....POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.
She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life. Better still, you won't have any butter for you're toast for the rest of your life......As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!!!"
Then POOF!.....she was gone!
After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend;
"Fred, where are you?"
Fred yelled back, "I'm over here in the pussy willows."
"Dave shouted back, "DON'T SWING, FRED; FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!"

Joke of the Day

A woman walks into an accountant's office in Atlanta and tells him that
She needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin,
I'll need to ask you a few questions."
He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then
asks, "What is your occupation?"
"I'm a whore," she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken back and says, "No, No, No, that
won't work.
Let's try to rephrase that"
The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".
"No, that still won't work. Try again."
They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite
chicken farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being
a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."
"Chicken Farmer it is."

Happy Fourth of July

God Bless America! Today is the fourth of July. I am proud to say I am glad I am an American. Despite everything that is going on in the world, we could have it a lot worse. I am so glad my cousin is back from Iraq, and he gets to spend time with his wife on the Fourth of July. Later on, I am going to head to my friends to pop fireworks and have a bbq. I am baking a chocolate cake to take there. I am looking forward to getting away from home and just being able to relax for the day.

I will not Tolerate It..... Anymore

I am making a mission statement to myself and everyone else in the world.

1. I will not change for anyone.
2. I will not tolerate someone thinking their opinions are the only ones that matter.
3. I will not take crap off anyone anymore.
4. I am who I am, take it or leave it.
5. Don't tell me what is right or wrong. It is my priority to believe what I want to be or not believe in.
6. I will not hide from the world.
7. Get used to the new take charge and not put up with bullsh*t me.

July is Almost Here!

Well, July is almost here! YAY!!! That means I will have only four or five more weeks of working at my "favorite" job. I am tempted to tell my boss that the 27th of July will be my last day. I have an offer to help with summer school the last part of July and early part of August. I will get paid more than I am getting paid at the other job. Also, I know I can handle working with this student because it will be familiar to me. Please, just let me make it through the next four weeks for sure.

My Ouchie Experience

Today I had a major ouchie experience. I was at work peeling some potatoes for the afternoon shift. I was cruising along and was almost done. Then, it happened. The potato peeler sliced one of my fingers and took part of the fingernail with it. It is just a little sliver, but it hurt like heck. I went to the bathroom hoping I could find a band-aid. Needless to say, I didn't find one. So I wrapped my finger in some toilet paper. After some searching, I did find some waterproof band-aids. I put one on, and now I am fine. It was a shocking experience, but I am so glad it wasn't as bad as it could be. I will be more cautious the next time I am peeling potatoes.

Got to Have Faith

I have learned sometimes you have to have faith. I need to learn how to have faith in myself. I don't give myself enough credit. I am not a troll that needs to hide in the house. It is good to get out and socialize with others. Tonight I went to a ball game for my goddaughter's cousin. They won 9 to 0. Plus, I have an unexpected surprise. There was a guy there that I have liked for almost a year. I have never really got the courage to say hi. There have been a lot of unspokens. For the most part, I had totally given up. So I didn't pay much attention to him. There was a few times I looked over and it looked like he was looking towards where I was at. I didn't pay much attention to it because I figured I was imagining things. Katie, my goddaughter, said halfway through the game, "Lisa, Mr. T is looking over at you all the time!" I told her, I thought I noticed that too but I figured I was imagining it. She said, "No, he is looking over at you!" We left and went to the post office. On the way back, I was about to turn the corner going to Katie's house. We met up with Mr. T driving his car. I figured what the hell, I am going to wave. My friend, Leyla, and I waved and he waved back. Jake says, "Lisa, he waved back at you!" Needless to say, it doesn't sound like much! But it really did renew my faith that I do have something to offer the world. If something happens, great! If it doesn't, I will live. I do know I will give myself the benefit of the doubt and not hide from him anymore.

To Exercise or To Not Exercise

Since I have been working, I have neglected my duty to exercise. Frankly, I have neglected it because I have no energy left. This evening I decided to get in gear. The swimming pool is offering Aqua Exercises every Wednesday. Well, I decided to go. When I arrive, there is no other people there for the water exercise. Finally, three other people showed up. I am no young chicken, but I sure felt like it when I saw the other people there. It went pretty good, and I think it took some relief off my aching feet. So I think I will do it again, next Week!!!

My Interesting Conversation

Yesterday I experienced an interesting conversation. Let's go over a little bit of the background of the person I was talking to. About three weeks ago, I got a message from a guy on Yahoo personals. At first, he seemed like a good guy that I might hit it off with. We talked once on the phone one night. Everything went good. He called the next day. That wasn't the problem! He called three times in one day, and e-mailed three times in the same day. I started to think this might be a big issue. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I think he got mad at me when I said we needed to get to know each other without any kind of sexual talk. We haven't talked since then, and then yesterday he messaged me. He said, "You haven't talked much." So then I explained to him that I started my job, and it was kicking my behind. Then he said, Is that a pic of Carl Edwards, I can't tell with sunglasses." I said yes. My display pic is a pic of Carl Edwards because he won the race Sunday. He is my second favorite race car driver. Then he had the audacity to say, "You just jump on the bandwagon or what?" My response was I have always liked Carl Edwards. That was the end of the conversation. Let me just say, this really pissed me off. First of all, if he would have took the time to get to know me, he would have known Carl Edwards is one of my favorite drivers. I just don't get how he thinks he has the right to judge me when he didn't take the time to really get to know me. Grrrrr!!!

Seven More Weeks....

Yes, it is true! I have seven more weeks until my summer job is over. I am counting down the days. I will be so happy to see my students. It is not that I don't appreciate the opportunity to work; it is the fact that this job is just not my cup of tea. It has truly made me realize that I need to get my general studies degree. Then I can focus on what I want to major in. When I accomplish that, then I won't have to get a summer job to make it through the year. I am just trying to focus on each day and get it over with. Come on August 3rd!!!

Here I Am!

I am back! This week has been hectic so far. I started my new job Wednesday morning, and by the time I got home I wanted to cry. The restaurant is packed during lunch and we cook constantly from 11:00 to close to 12:30. Today wasn't as bad, but I think I adjusted to some of the turmoil. I work tomorrow and Saturday and then I have two days off. Thank God!!! The problem is the boss will be gone tomorrow and Saturday, so it will just be the two of us to deal with the lunch rush. I just hope we make it through the two days without having a major incident. I think I have no feet left because they are totally numb. My back and neck aches. I am sick of getting up at 5:45 in the morning. Ok, I am done griping. It is money and I only have seven more weeks until school starts again. Now, I am going to watch game four of the NBA Finals.

No Food Diary Today!

Well, I decided I might as well not do a food diary today because I have been a bad girl. I went to church and ate a buffet style dinner. Then I went to my goddaughter's house for her birthday party and ate some cake and ice cream. Plus, I am really nervous about this potential job. I am bordering on screaming or bawling on cue. Everything in my body just wants to scream. It is definitely triggering my emotional food dependences. Trust me, right now I want a big jug of Coke, nachos, cheeseburger with curly fries, and something really sweet to top it off with. I am sure I will survive; it is just not a good day!

My Food Diary for June 9, 2007

yogurt
grilled cheese with two pickles
four oatmeal cookies
two cups of grapes
2 slices of pepperoni pizza
one cup of raisins
a can of Coke

I am definitely craving something right now, but I guess I will drink some water and then try to keep myself busy.

Wish me Luck!

Well, today I got a phone call from a restaurant from a nearby town. It might just be what I need for the summer. During the school year, I work as an interrelated paraprofessional. In other words, I work with kids with learning disabilities. Then, summer comes around and I have no income coming in until September. Granted, I start working again the first week of August, but that still leaves another month until I get paid. I have been helping out my mom around the farm by mowing and painting. If I get this job, it will help pay some other bills like insurance, credit card payment, electricity, and phone. If I get this job, I will be a cook working from 6:30 in the morning to 2:30 in the afternoon. Please wish me luck!

My Food Diary for June 8, 2007

2 oatmeal cookies
two slices of meatloaf
handful of Cheetos
cup of grapes
cup of carrots
cup of Cinnamon Life
cup of jello
two cups of macaroni and cheese
one cup of stuffing

Activities for the day:
Moved four cement blocks
mowed for a hour and half
chopped some weeds

My Food Diary for June 7, 2007

Oatmeal Cookie
Banana
handful of Cheetos
bologna sandwich
grapes
handful of Cinnamon Life
slice of meatloaf
baked potato with a pat of butter and salt and pepper
cup of jello
yogurt
orange Powerade

Activities for the Day:
Moved 13 cement blocks

An Anniversary

Well, today is the fifth anniversary of the day that my dad passed away. It has been five years to this day since my dad went to heaven. I am writing this post in remembrance of him. He was very special to me, and I definitely had my daddy's little girl moments. He read to me when I was little. I can remember just waiting for him to read my favorite book to me every night. It was a green old book about stories about wildlife. Also, he read the Yearling to me once in awhile. Also, I can remember going for walks with my mom and dad. They use to swing me around while we were walking. When I got older, I can remember going to Pointed Rocks and looking for arrowheads. Sometimes we went rafting down the Arkansas River. Then, when I was an adult, we worked together at Pierceville Coop during harvest time. We spent many great times together, and I still talk to him to this day. Dear Dad, I love you and I think of you each and every day.

Life Lessons

I have learned a valuable life lesson today. Sometimes it pays to just keep your mouth shut about certain things. My mom has a live in boyfriend that I have disapproved of since day one. She left my dad and moved right in with this guy, let's call him "George". He is one that thinks his opinion is the only one that matters. When I voiced my opinions to my mom in the past, she just thought I was being a vindicative spoiled brat. Now I have learned to keep my mouth shut and let her realize the true him. Trust me, she is learning fast that he is nothing but trouble. I just hope she will soon kick him out and he will be on the road to a different place. I am sure that day is coming up soon.

A Spur of Creativity

As I was sitting in my house debating about doing some of the things that I have always put off for another day, I had a creativity insight. I realized this summer would be a great time to start writing a biography about my grandpa. Ever since he passed away in 1999, I knew I wanted to write a short book about him to pay tribute to him. It will talk about him in many ways and some of the life lessons he has installed in me and some of my family. To me, he was a true Renaissance man. He could do anything that he put his mind to. He didn't have much education and everything he learned; he learned through trial and error. A lot of people could instill this dedication and determination into their life.

Dealing with my mom

One part of dating is having to deal with my mother. I know that sounds funny, but it is soooo true. If you mention that you are talking to a guy, you get the 20 questions. What is his name? What does he do? Does he have kids? Then after a week, she is automatically asking, "So when are you going out with him?" Are you avoiding him?" I know she wants what is best for me, but sometimes I wish she would let me decide what or who that is. Give me the strength to be able to answer these questions and deal with her on a daily basis as long as I am in the dating world.

The Challenges of Dating

Well, I finally decided I needed to get back into the dating world. I was only in hiding for a brief three years. I know that is not a brief vacation from dating, but a long time to hide in my house. That is exactly what I did, hide in the house. Where did it get me? Well, I think the answer is absolutely nowhere. It is hard to meet people when you don't put yourself out in the open. Well, I finally decided I have to get out and mingle with the real world. So, here it goes. I put an ad on a personals website. At first, I didn't get many hits at all. Then I started to get a few hits once in awhile. My experience has been either I find guys that would make good friends and nothing else or I have found the guys that want that ever so wonderful friends with benefits. The first questions some of them ask is, "What is your bra size?" Well, that is on a need to know basis. You get to know me and we make a connection then you will get to meet Betty and Sue, until then don't ask. Well, now I have a few guys that I think might be worthwhile in getting to know. I just need to give them a chance and realize negative thoughts will get me nowhere in life. Wish me luck!

P.S. I am not man bashing. I am just sharing my experiences.

Addiction or Desires?

Life is full of desires. Have you ever wondered when it goes past a desire and turns into an addiction? I have a couple of things that almost border into addiction. One of them is food. Food can be my best friend or my worst enemy. I am battling the addiction to food every day. I am now just starting to win the battle. I will not let food or my emotional dependence on it take over my life. Also, I am fighting another addiction that I chose to keep hidden at this time. It is not gambling, drugs, or anything illegal. It is something that must people would be amazed by. It comes and goes. Some days it is stronger than others. Yesterday I really struggled with it. Today I am back to myself and reality as it should be. The problem is I involve other people in my desires or addictions. Then I struggle to be myself again, and then have to face the fact that the people that I am surrounding myself with, are not the best people to be around or talk to. I am hoping with this blog I can conquer my problems and discuss them so I understand why I continue to go back to the same desires.

Update on Missing Cat

Well, it is now 11:15 p.m. I just now finally got Cleo back in the house. I was heading to bed, because I have gave up on phone call from a certain guy (but that is another story). I hear two cats fighting outside. We have had some major storms came through this area, and I figured she got underneath the trailer. Instead she finally decided to come back around the house to the front porch. Chester, one of my outside cats, must have attacked her. I raced outside and as soon as he jumped off her, I grabbed her. She was soaking wet. I have a renewed belief in God. I remember praying to God that she came back to the house. Then I remember asking my dad to make her come back to the house. Shortly, after that, she is by the front porch. Someone is looking at for me. I have learned two valuable lessons. 1) never give up 2) don't let your windows open more than the first notch (dang cats might fall out)

The Case of the Missing Cat

Ok, things have gone from bad to worse. Today, I was getting ready to head to town and I look towards my house, and I saw two of my cats outside (never mind, they are suppose to be only indoors cats). They had fell out of my window screen; they must have pushed against it and it popped out. Thomas came pack to the porch and I was able to put him back in the house. On the other hand, Cleo took off. I have spotted twice since she got out at nine thirty, but she will not come to me. She hasn't came to the food I put out, and every time I see her she goes the opposite way. My mom and I opened part of the siding around my home hoping she will go underneath the trailer for now. Some of you might be thinking it is just a cat. But she is more than a cat, she was my Dad's cat. He has been gone out of my life for almost five years. She is one of the few links I have to him still. I feel as if I lose her; I will lose part of my Dad again. The worse part is it is suppose to storm tonight and tomorrow. I hope she gets under the house and I can find her later. She has done this before and we found her three days later underneath my house.

My Day of Excitement

Today has been soooooo eventful!! I didn't get up until nine. Then I went and worked outside for a bit. A snake decided to make himself present as I was coming back to my house. I think I screamed so loud, he or she was more scared than I was. The little bugger slithered underneath my porch steps, and of course they are cement and solid. So he is pretty safe considering I can't get underneath there to creamate his little bum. After my scare, I came back in the house and accomplished some important tasks on the computer such as paying some bills, playing games (that is very important work, mind you), and chat with some unsuspecting guys online. Let's just say I was amazed to know I have my own personal sex slave now if I want him. It is amazing how much you can accomplish by doing almost nothing all day long. But we are entitled to these days, Right?

My First Time

Well, here I go! This is my first time blogging. So please be patient with me. I have decided I need to do this for me. This will be the summer of Lisa. I will renew myself and try to fix many problems that have taken over my life. There will be no more take everything that comes your way Lisa. There will be a new Stand Up for Myself Lisa. Hopefully this will lead to relationships and stronger relationships with family and friends. There will be a new Lisa by August. Feel free to give me any advice as I make my journey into the new life of me.